This was, hands down and beyond any question, the very best Christmas present I got this year. My God, did I ever win bigtime in the Smutmas sweepstakes.

Title: Being Snape
Pairing: Snape/Harry
Rating: NC 17
Enticements Warnings: infidelity, repeated transgressions of social taboos, DH-compliant

Summary:When Harry Polyjuices into Snape, he finds out more about the Potions master than he ever dreamed.


As the author's note comments, this story "explores themes of adultery and sacrifice" (and the costs imposed by homophobia and choosing to have children) and does so sharply and deftly.

Harry can't let go of Snape. He just can't. Even though he's happily married with three young children. He can't let it go.

As we all noticed, many things were left unresolved between them at the end of DH. So years after Voldemort's death, he decides to bring Snape back in the only way he can: by brewing polyjuice, and using some of the dried blood left in the Shack to transform himself into Snape. Now, he can finally find out what was under those robes, what it feels like to be Snape.

The story carefully develops Harry's growing obsession with Snape step by step, until Harry finds another wizard who can "play" Snape for him even more effectively than he himself can. Or is it Snape, himself?

The story is at heart epistemological: it plays with the question of what Harry knows and how he can know it, and with issues of identity and authenticity so adroitly that I was left gaping, wondering if the author was really going to be able to pull this off. Oh, but it works. All of it.

"Being Snape" is satisfyingly long and its characterizations are absolute gems. I am dying to go into detail here, to describe exactly how well each character is realized here, but I just can't think of a way to do it without spoiling the story for you. And it would be a shame to spoil something this engaging and clever. And did I mention hot? Because it is also a polished piece of erotica: the sex is simply meltingly hot.

The ending? Ah. The story knows that it can be very costly to truly act like a grown-up. You have to live up to your obligations, in the end, or you'll find that you can't live with yourself. And in the end, Harry does have to let it go.

Or does he? The ending is complicated, and can certainly be read as hopeful.

This story is a gem, a jewel. Even if adultery doesn't do it for you, you should read this. Because stories this clear-eyed and intelligent . . . . stories that can convey the gripping compulsion of erotic obsession so well that you're left gasping . . . don't come along very often.

This story is truly one of the winners of the fest season, this year. And it was written for me

*hugs herself, and dances around*